God has been telling me, “I am enough for you. I am all you need every moment of everyday.”
For the last several weeks, I had been feeling lonely. It may be a combination of tiredness from the semester, sleep deprivation, and just people being busy all the time that made me feel like everyone is always doing their own thing. And if you’re not doing your thing, you’re not keeping up with the Jones’. I hate how we have a culture that confuses effectiveness with busyness. You’re more than what your schedule tells you to do. I am busy, but not because I’m involved in a billion clubs on campus or having meetings back-to-back. I’m busy because I choose to set aside a good portion of my day to rest with my God, even if it means waking up at ungodly hours in the morning.
Anyway, back to my point. My liveliness increases by a 1000% when I’m surrounded by people. I started to miss the regular large-group hangouts that I used to have. But God reminded me of what He said to me at Urbana 2012, “I will give you gifts, but I’m all you need every moment of everyday.” So I just accepted it. When I’m without people around me, He’s all I need. When I’m with people, He’s still the only thing I need.
I thought I would just coast into the end of the semester. All I wanted was to take my finals and leave nice and quietly to start my summer adventures. But to my surprise, God is blessing me by showing His love to me through my friends. I’m surprised and honored by the number of people who have texted me saying, “Hey! When do you leave? Let’s meetup one more time before you go.” Or “Hey, God has blessed me so much through you.” I almost want to slap myself in the face for even entertaining my lonely feelings.
I’m also sucky at goodbyes. I guess everyone is, but I cannot believe that I’m actually reaching the age where everyone that I know might move to different places and start their lives elsewhere very soon. I can’t imagine the community I’ve been apart for four years just scattering in such a short amount of time. When we all leave, we’ll never get this time back again. It’s over too fast.
To sum up, I’m forever indebted to God. Things change and life carries on, but He’s constant and unchanging for eternity. When He’s first, everything else falls into place and you will not be shaken. Sometimes things don’t go the way I thought they would, but even when I’m drowning in all His blessings, all I want and all I need is still Him alone.
He is everything I could ever ask for. He is my best friend, my lover, my savior, my redeemer, my resting place. He died for me. I never want to leave His side. He is everything that I want and need to be satisfied forever.
Wow, I am so humbled before our heavenly Father. He is full of glory, clothed with honor, and worthy of all praise. He has a universe to run and all that, but He still takes the time to do special, personalized things for me everyday even though it takes a while for me to realize sometimes. He is so patient with me. He does these little things simply to see me smile and to see me be happy in His presence. He nudges me from time to time so that for a brief moment, I would glance in His direction in the midst of my unnecessarily busy schedule. He wants me to be captivated by Him because He knows what is best for me. He knows me through and through, yet He still delights in me. His love cannot be bound.
For God so loved THE WORLD…. He created you. He is in love with YOU. Receive Him and enjoy Him forever.
A few days ago, I was at work and starving for a snack from the vending machine. I emptied my coin bag to find three quarters, one dime, one nickel, and five pennies. Dang… I knew I couldn’t use the five pennies in the vending machine so I was a dime short of buying those delicious Snyder’s pretzels. I held the 90 cents in my hand, put the pennies back in my empty coin bag, and said to God, “Hey God, how funny would it be if you somehow purposely allowed someone to drop a dime around here somewhere like yesterday or something for me to pick up today.” I was semi joking, but I still proceeded to get on my knees to look for that dime. No luck. I checked my coin bag again. Five pennies. Then, I began to push the button that returns change on every vending machine in the hallway. I thought that I could get some coins that way. No luck. I checked my coin bag again. Still five pennies. I stood there for about a minute trying to think of other possibilities to scrounge for just one more dime! So close, but so far! Just as I was about to give up, I checked in my coin bag one last time. One…two…three…four pennies…and a dime!??!!?!? asdfghjklqoien@!##!powijenvaknduadjkl! Omygoodness!!!! I counted the money so many times before; it was five pennies before!! God totally did that! Praise Him!! Ahhhh! It was pretty amazing. And so I bought those pretzels. :D
He provides EVERYTHING you need down to the tiniest detail. He’s not some sort of magic, but He does care. Faith of a mustard seed can move mountains, right? Well, I had even less than a mustard seed worth of faith and He changed a penny into a dime for me. Not that I would’ve died without the pretzels. He just wanted me to be happy. He just wanted to provide for His child. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
Psalm 23:1 - “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” All I want is Him.
God has been teaching me a lot about the Holy Spirit lately. He’s so cool!
- The Holy Spirit indwells in us. Believers are the tent of meeting, like the one Moses went into in the Old Testament to speak directly to God.
- The Holy Spirit rushes upon us. He empowers us to do mighty works, like Samson who tore a lion to pieces when the Holy Spirit came upon Him.
- The Holy Spirit makes the Son known to us which leads us to the Father. He guides us to share the Gospel with others. All for the extension of His Kingdom and the glory of His name.
Essentially, we desperately need the Spirit…
I am starting to realize more and more how much of an extrovert I am.